« Previous production

Next production »

Production Poster

Silly Cow

by Ben Elton

April 23rd-27th 2019

The Forum Studio Theatre

Online Ticket Booking:

Click to view further booking information below


Silly Cow, by Ben Elton, is a slick, razor-tongued modern satire on the viciousness of tabloid journalism with an ingeniously dramatic dénouement. Doris is a newspaper columnist and reviewer with a talent for caustic insults and career assassination. She is being sued by the actress Trudi Hobson, after writing an article which savaged the respected thespian with accusations of small talent and large thighs. The queen of spleen isn't worried: she's got a job offer, a plan for a television show, and the cleavage to help the judge see things her way. But she's about to discover that even journalists can't escape reaping what they have sown, and that there's nothing quite as dramatic as an actress's revenge. Silly Cow was first presented in 1991 at the Theatre Royal Haymarket, London. Elton aimed to shock in the pre-Labour nineties and lines are cutting - "with all that make-up on she looked like a witch with psoriasis". The plot's pace increases rapidly and the sudden wicked twists and turns will have you guessing right up to the end.


Production Team:
Director: Simon Phillips

Auditions will be in December 2018 and rehearsals will start in February 2019. At this stage, to register your interest in receiving more information when it is available, please email the director, Simon Phillips, at simonp@tiptopproductions.co.uk The production will be set, as written, in London in 1991. CHARACTERS: DORIS (female, 35-45): Lead. Doris is larger than life. She is the epitome of money can't buy taste or class. She has made quite a name for herself as a gossip columnist and "reviewer" of plays and movies. Her articles are nasty and mean-spirited, all in an attempt to sensationalise any piece of potential news and gain readers. She firmly believes that she has worked hard to get to the top of her industry and deserves to be famous and have all the trappings of a wealthy and fabulous lifestyle. Doris dresses head to toe in sequins, glitter and feathers. SIDNEY(male, 35-45): Lead. In many ways Sidney is Doris' equal. He is also a gossip columnist and has as nasty a sense of humour as Doris. However, he is far less ostentatious if still on the greasy and unpleasant side. He has a keen sense for the business side of running a newspaper or magazine and is trying to poach Doris from her current job to work for the new online magazine he is setting up. PEGGY (female, 25-35): Support. Peggy is Doris' personal assistant. She is the opposite of Doris in almost every way – far quieter, conservative in her dress and manner, and a little on the mousey side. Peggy does have a certain strength to her character as she is sure of her duties and protective over Doris when others attack her character. DOUGLAS (male, 35-50): Support. Douglas is the nerdy accountant complete with tweedy jacket and large, scuffed briefcase. He is very good at what he does and enjoys the position of trust and authority that he has. For some reason, he seems to have a slight soft spot for Doris. EDUARDO (male, 20-25): Support. Eduardo is the cocky, young, toy boy dating Doris. He is a typical London yob and thinks that he is the coolest person in any room. He is dating Doris because of the clubs she can get him into and Doris is dating him to look cool and young by association.

Times & Tickets:
Evening Performances at 7.30pm
Saturday matune 2.30pm
Tickets from £7

Tel 01244 341296

Online Ticket Booking: